BLARPY PUNGLES: Nutation XXVI

Know Your Clownstellations

Since time immemorial, men and women have turned their eyes to the sky to seek answers to their prayers and fears. On clear nights, they would have seen the marching ranks of stars and planets. And so it seems only natural that they should have created patterns in the stars to reflect the deep and varied mythology of humanity's neverending battle with the circus clown.

For it is by finding patterns that humanity has managed to quell the sickening fear of chaos that circus clowns inspire. Certainly, knowledge is the best way to face down that screaming, scrubbing bubble in the belly, that howling waxen fart that looms brownly up to overwhelm and swallow all that is rational. The clownstellations not only help us to find our way in the night sky - they help us to understand ourselves better.

It is easy to get started by beginning with the more prominent clownstellations: if you are out on a clear, crisp winter night, you will have no problem making out the outline of Gloppo, with his glittering belt and hanging horn. If on the other hand you venture out on a warm summer night, see if you can't pick out Crapola (also known as the Crucified Clown) straddling the Milky Way, or the tiny, bright quandrangle of stars known as The Heart of Professor Feeb.

... TO BE CONTINUED.