Vegetarian Ed Gein Marionette

Made entirely of vegetable matter. Comes complete with hollow avacado and assorted fruit stems, seeds, etc. Available now for $13.95 plus shipping. Moon Pie sold separately.

Vegetarian Zombie Sock Monkey

Composed of socks, buster. Comes with miniature "brains" (tomatillos) which can be passed safely through its GI tract. $13.95 plus shipping.

Vegetarian Herve Villechaize Homunculus

Whittled from old beets. Cucurbit not included. $4.95 or $22 for a half dozen.

Vegetarian Mall-O Roast Pebbles

These things are outrageous. I could slap beanies on these things and call them by their last names, but the surf coworkers would striate in on their apple dumpling parfait twists and eviscerate the klieg bones in their penis saucers. $2.95 for these things, seasonal only. Call for availability.