The Pez™ Alternative Physics ChallengeSure, Pez are fun, but the candy is terrible!
The challenge is to get the PEZ mechanism to dispense something else. The problem is that, as bad as PEZ assuredly are, they and they only are designed, specifically engineered and crafted, to be dispensed by the unique PEZ "tracheotomy" mechanism.
It's like this. This will work:
. . . V o gate ==== ==== . . . V
... and this will not work:
. . . V o-----o gate ==== ====
What could be more clear?
The shape of the dispensee candy is of the utmost importance.
In order to make this more clear (if it is possible) two grape Pez were scanned in an ordinary flat-bed scanner. Here are the unretouched results:
iiiQiQQQXIQvnnvlenZWWWQQiQiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiif iQiQQQQWX:QvvvvinnX#mWQQQQQQiQiQiiiiiiiiiiiif iQiQQiQW=l<vvvlinvX#mWWWQQQiQQiQiQiQiQiQiiiif iQiQiWQW=IivvviivnX##mWWWQQQQiQQQiQiQQiQiQiQf iQiQQQQW=I<vvviinvX##mWWWWQiaauXZXwaQiQiQiQif iQiQiQQW=vQvvviivnX##WaaaXXZZXZXXXZXoQiQiQiif iQiQQQQWX:ivvvQivnXaXXZZZXXZXZmXXXZ#S%iQiQiQf iQiQQQQW=:ivvviivn#X#XXXXZZZXXXSSXZXXlQiQiiif iQiQiQQW=IivvviivnX3ZZZXXXXXXZXXXXe*lQiQiQiQf iQQQQQQW=IQvvviivnXZ3XZZXXXXe*1iQQQiiQiQiQiif iQiQiQQW=IivnviivnXZ#I**YlWWQQiQQQiQQiQiQiiQf QiQQQQQW=livnvlivnX##mWQWWWQQQQQQiQiiQiiiiQif iQQQQQQW=linvvvivnX##WWWWQQQiQiQiiiQiiQiQiiif QQiQQQQm=livvvvivvZ#mWmQWQQQQiQiQQiiiQiiiQiif iQQQQQWW=linvIvivnZ#mWWWWQQiQQQiQiiQiQiQiiQif QQQQQQWWolioXXXXXsm#mmmWWQQQQiQiQiQiQiiQiQiif iQiQQQQm=uXZZXXXZXXa#WWWWQQQQQQiQQiQiQiQiQiQf QQQQQQWWHXZXXXXXXXZXoaZWWWQQQiQQQiQiiQiQiQiif iQQQQQQW=MXZmSSXXXXXZXo%WWWQQQQiQiQiQiQiQiQif QQQQQQWWoviSnXXXXXXXXXZZo>QQQQiQQiQiQiQiiQiif iQiQQQQWnIivv3XZZXXXXXXZXzQQQQQiQiQiiQiiQiQif iQQQiQQm=vinvlvSXXZXXmXX2WQQiQiQQiiQiiiQiiiif iQiQQQQW=livvIvi33XXXS*iWWQQQQQiQiQiiQiiQiQif iQQQiQQWnvinvvvivvX#mWWWWQQQiQiQiiiiiiiQiiiif iQiQQQQWnvivnvvivnZ#mWWWQQiQiQiQiQiiQiiiiiQif
... we suck. Ha ha.
Yes, there they are, in all their chalky, grape-y bad-ness.
It is almost as though they are laughing at us, along with their plastic dispenser friends those superheroes and worse, badly reproduced in cheap plastic and given articulated Columbian neckties for the sole purpose of shadowing forth these horrid little bricks, these mini-soap-bars of shabby-ass sugar plus flavoring from God-knows-whence.
First solution: Inflatable Candy.
. . . V o mechanism ==== | ==== ^ / \ / \ o-----o . . . V
In this solution, as is eminently clarified by the diagram, the PEZ-shaped candy is extruded from the tracheal mechanism but immediately unfolds or reorganizes itself into its full-size, more palatable guise.
A recent report published in Post-Modern Candies: A Festschrift in Honor of Necco Wafers cites a study in which "smart foam" was utilized as a carrier for flavoring and other ingredients in specified test candies, in particular the popular "Emmetts!" brand bearing a touted resemblance to famed clown Emmett Kelly (they more closely resemble child TV star Danny Bonaduce). The foam-bolstered candies were subjected to X-ray bombardment, upon which they swelled to twice their normal size.
More recent efforts in these directions involve the use of nanotechnology, in which tiny programmed (but delicious) molecular robots think submicroscopic Bonaduces with all the intelligence intact rapidy re-build the very substance of the candy, attenuating it outward in all directions into a larger-sized but still sturdy unit.