the mimps, 2


Scene 1

L. Mimp Microwaves His Parasitic Twin

There is a timbre of deep walrus in the air. Downstage Center, L. Mimp arranges cones

L. Mimp: Wasn't I dead?

He parts the big-titted cone, revealing a savory chimp.

Ah, the lukewarm bitter spring of cones!
'Specially when they house such chimps as this!
Hoist I therefore, myself, my parasitic twin,
Avast, who capers 'neath my sedimented robe.

L. Mimp lifts his robe. There is a poof of something squamous and when it clears, the parasitic twin is seen to dance, its cup of a mouth spraying something like sparkle onion gas.

L. Mimp: P. U.! But pretty.

L. Mimp's Parasitic Twin: Smok smok smok smok smok.

L. Mimp begins to slice the chimp into strips.

L. Mimp: We'll share this chimp. Make sure you finish yours or I'll have to give it to The Cheapies.

L. Mimp's Parasitic Twin: Foo!

There is a sudden rain of diamonds from on high. Author's Note:These must be real diamonds. Do not skimp!

The cones and chimp are crushed.

L. Mimp's Parasitic Twin: Foo!

L. Mimp: Whence these diamonds, twin?

L. Mimp's Parasitic Twin: Thither, within Ultima Thule.

An expedition is mounted.

L. Mimp: Thule, Ho!

The diamonds silently transform into useless, crusty black carbon.

L. Mimp's Parasitic Twin: Bort bort bort bort bort!

Scene 2

Second appearance of the Evil Fan-Doo

The Evil Fan-Doo enters, solus, atop a stack of pancakes borne by glagolitic Cheapies in overalls and nothing else. Four rays of syrup run supernaturally straight out from under the ass of the Evil Fan-Doo, and the stack is followed or more properly pursued by an animate Mrs. Butterworth who visibly foams at the mouth, her jaw clacking.

The Evil Fan-Doo: I shiver at my own faint luminosity, which proceeds mostly from behind my thyroid. Why? There is not enough silence, or science.

Mrs. Butterworth halts. Pink light, abominably bright, from above. She stares horrified.

The Evil Fan-Doo: My ass is sticky (dies).