Church of the Tri-Lobéd Luminous Green Brain
"... Come unto me, searcher,
and I will thrust my hookéd sucker-tubes
into your ears; yea, and force my way thus
deep into your skull's blood-pudding cul-de-sacs ..."
— from The Tri-Lobéd Luminous Green Brain for Dummies
The Church of the Tri-Lobéd Luminous Green Brain (previously known as The Tabernacle of the Incorruptible Drunken Mothra) has a great big dogma deal in store for you!
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The Tri-Lobéd Luminous Green Brain
Listen to this testimony from a real church member:
"Pardon my frankness (I know I'm in a church), but I had to tell you all
what happened to me. I was walking down the hall at work, scratching my ass like
I sometimes do, when I felt part of my ass come off in my hand. It was like, I
grabbed a hunk of my left ass in order to scratch it and it just detached
itself, pulled away in my hand. I don't know why. There was only a little pain,
but there was definitely a handful of ass separated away and smushing around in
there under my pants. I expected a whole lot of blood to come pouring out of my
pants-cuff, but it didn't. It was definitely weird.
"But then I met the Tri-Lobéd Luminous Green Brain."
Tell us: how did it come about that you met the Brain?
"Well, as you might expect, I didn't know what to do, standing there in the hall holding onto an ass-chunk through my Dockers™ hoping it wouldn't fall out of my pants-leg. So I left. I got some weird looks as I left, too, because I was holding that separated piece of my butt so hard. But not too hard, because I didn't, you know, want to squeeze anything out of it. But I was holding it pretty hard against the spot on my ass where it had come loose, so I must have looked pretty weird, going out the door like that."
What did you do?
Press NEXT for the next installment.
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